Joke Archive #2

This is a newer one of my Archives

Note: Any resemblance of names in this article to actual large powerful corporations

capable of destroying mere mortal humans like sparrows in a jet turbine is, um, pure

coincidence. Really.

big. now unwanted contents. or rubles. color set. When he disagrees, give him a strange look and say, "You mean you really

can't see it?" departments, occasionally screaming without warning. from side to side. see the "hidden picture". through bone. much meat on them. bottle of Eau de Swanke. contact lens. beard. France..." mall taking two-inch steps. Jingle Bells for admiring onlookers. really wicked buzz". straw". Bell". Chant the dialogue in a robotic voice, and scream if anyone tries to switch

channels on one of the sets. uniform. Occasionally run around in circles yelling "scratch one flattop!" announce that none of them are "leakproof". noises. they're real. "Domino's." man." your mouth, and demand to know why it hasn't turned blue yet.

Canonical Borg Lines

[email protected] (Michael Toler) writes:

#1 on the BORG Hit Parade: We all sleep in a single subroutine.

#2 on the Borg Hit Parade: Borg in the USA.

All a Borg!

Assimilate me tender - Elvis of Borg.

Blonde Borgs have the same fun.

Borg Mail Reader v2.1a. Tagline theft is futile.

Borg Mail Reader v2.1a. Taglines are irrelevant.

Borg Moderator - Your topic is irrelevant.

Borg Starter Kit: some assimilation required.

Borg saying: We came. We absorbed. We left.

Borg spreadsheet program: Locutus 1-2-3.

Borg virus detected. (A)ssimilate? (Y/y)

Borg, James Borg. Vodka martini, gin is irrelevant.

Borg-Cola: Not the choice of The Next Generation.

Borg-again Christian. Resistance to my sermon is futile.

BorgBurgers. We do it our way. Your way is irrelevant.

BorgDOS: Irrelevant command or filename.

Borgasm: The ecstacy of being assimilated.

Clinton Borg - The economy is irrelevant.

Ernest BORGnine... you be the judge.

GOTO, GOING TO, GONE TO - Borg subroutines.

Gates of Borg: OEMs will be assimilated.

Geraldo of Borg: Next brothers who assimilate sisters.

Groucho Borg: That's the silliest thing I ever assimilated.

HersheyBORG: Wrappers are futile. Chocolate will be assimilated.

Hillary of Borg: Choice is irrelevant.

I am Al of Borg. Aww, Peg, I assimilated you last year.

I am Bart of Borg - who the hell are you?

I am Bugs Bunny of Borg. What's up, Collective?

I am Caffeine of Borg. Sleep is irrelevant.

I am Clinton of Borg. Hillary says resistance is futile!

I am CopyCat of Borg. Your tagline will be assimilated.

I am Dangerfield of Borg. Respect is irrelevant.

I am Descartes of Borg: I assimilate therefore I am.

I am Drunk of Borg. Resistance is floor tile.

I am Flatulus of Borg. Prepare to pull my finger.

I am Fudd of Borg! Pwepawe to be assimiwated!

I am Fudd of Borg. Wesistance is usewess!

I am Garfield of Borg - Hairballs are irrelevant.

I am Ginsu of Borg. You will be assimilated - but WAIT! There's MORE!

I am Homer of Borg. Prepare to be... ooooohh, doughnuts!

I am Jordan of Borg. Gravity is irrelevant.

I am Madonna of Borg. Gender is irrelevant.

I am Madonna of Borg: Justify my assimilation!

I am OS/2 of Borg. DOS will be assimilated.

I am Popeye of Borg. Prepare to be askimilgrated.

I am Shakespeare of Borg. Prepare to be, or not to be, assimilated.

I am Tweety of Borg. I _tawt_ I attimiwated a puddy tat!

I am Yoda of Borg: Irrelevant the Force is.

I am Zsa Zsa of Borg. Prepare to be assimilated dahling.

I'm Bugs Bunny of Borg. What's up Collective?

McBorgers: Over 50 million assimilated.

My other computer is a Borg.

P-Porky P-Pig of Borg: You will be assim-assim... absorbed.

Pythagoras of Borg - Distance is irrelevant.

Q: How many Borg does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: All of them.

Quayle of Borg - Inhaling is irrelevant.

Tennis is irrelevant - Bjorn Borg.

The Borg are coming! Quick, try and look useless.

The Borg assimilated my race and all I got was this lousy T-Shirt!

The Borg: Calm, Cool and Collective.

The Swedish Chef has been assimilated. Borg borg borg!

U2 will become one with the Borg. We like Bono.

Uhura of Borg: Assimilation frequencies open, sir.

We are Borg. [ESC] is futile [CTRL] is inevitable.

We are Daleks of Borg. ASSIMILATE! ASSI-MIL-ATE!!!!!!!

We have engaged the Borg. The wedding will be Friday.

Welcome to Borg Burger. No pickles. Pickles are irrelevnt

Yoooouuuuu'rreee Irrelevant! - Daffy Duck of Borg.

Zsa Zsa of Borg. Prepare to be assimilated dahling.

Borg Answering Machine Message:

WE ARE BORG.

RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.

YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED.

But we're not home right now.

So leave a message at the tone

and we'll assimilate you later.

][] Chris/2 ][] Healthy Trekkies work out at the He's Dead Gym!

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Mimic * Kenny Smith * Hopeless Romantic * Narfball * Monsieur Kenny

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